Farmville….

One evening I was minding my own business and my wife was minding hers when she tells me she needs more neighbors.  As we live in a neighborhood of at least 30-40 houses I was confused and innocently asked her what she was talking about.  Hmmm, mistake number one.  The mistakes get bigger.

I had played Mafia Wars (if you can call it playing) and quit after a week.  Didn’t my attention much.  So I had seen the ads for Farmville which didn’t catch my attention either.  My wife plays, it turns out.  Also turns out my oldest daughter plays.  A lot.

In order to expand her “farm” she needed 8 neighbors.  I was the key.  So, sure, I signed up.  Well, you can send “gifts” that benefit your neighbors so I started sending her and Chelsea gifts.  You can get bonuses from other peoples good fortune, ribbons for plowing and planting, nifty names like “GREEN GIANT’, pack rat, architectural awards all of which award you with fictional gold coins and XP points that raise your level. 

In several words, I was caught.  We haven’t figured out how to purposely get more FV, which are farmville dollars with which you can buy stuff.  You can even spend your own real money on stuff if you really want to.  I have not succumbed.  McKenzie saw her opening and offered to play and be our neighbor so we could continue to grow.  The thing is, you have to have a facebook account to play farmville.

You guessed it, she got it.  With restrictions.  She will be deleted if she goes outside those restrictions again.  She is 14 and apparently felt the need to push it.  Now my 4 year old and 1 year old  have accounts and are my neighbors.  If they get out of line that’s it, I’m quitting and taking them all with me. 

Jasmine has held out on some principle.  We are wearing her down!!  I may have to go and open accounts for my mom and sister.  Somebody help me!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

I love christmas decorations and setting up my yard.  I think it looks good.  But here is a link to which I aspire and may never live up to.  So, if you love good or over the top christmas displays this site is for you.  Enjoy and Merry Christmas everyone.

http://www.planetchristmas.com/ShowingOff2004.htm

Blog posting

I’m told I don’t post enough to keep readership high.  Sorry bout that.  Some of us don’t have all that extra time at work to keep posting almost daily.  I don’t think blogging just to put up a blog would be worthwhile to me or you.  Wait, I just blog for the fun of it.  Is that ok?  Come back anytime!  If you have more time to read lots of blogs visit suncrestdug.wordpress.com.  Lots of blogs to choose from and search for just about any topic you could want.  Stop by back here occasionally, I might have something new.  Peace out!  Where does that come from anyway?

Guilty Pleasure

Every year it’s the same story.  I like to put my christmas lights up early enough that I am not freezing or slipping off the roof.  I think this is rational behavior.  But then I see my neighbors and others putting them up AND turning them on WAY before thanksgiving.

I made a deal with my wife when we were married and she saw how nuts I like to go  with the lights on the house.  They can go up but do not get turned on until Thanksgiving.

I think if I was in the military or police I would have what the call an “itchy trigger finger”.  It takes everything I have plus threats from Colleen to not turn on my lights prior to the traditional day.  I secretly revel in the neighbors lights going on and others throughout the area.  I love christmas lights.  If I have it I want it out for display. 

This poses the challenge of finding the right combination that won’t blow the fuse box.  Once again, I digress.  Had the same problem writing papers in school.  Lack of focus.  Where was I?

Oh yeah, lights.  So, should I feel guilty that I love it when the other lights go on before Thanksgiving?  I get conflicted.  Some say its ok to have guilty pleasures and others don’t.  I don’t know how Freud stood on the issue.  I think I will continue to enjoy and wait for my stock pile of LED lights to get big enough that I can use the “saving energy” ploy some day.

Here’s to enjoying those guilty pleasures!

Pinball is fun!

I have discovered a need and a way to meet that need.  On ramps and off ramps are particularly sticky points on the freeway during rush hour.  Why do they call it rush hour?  Is it because everyone would LIKE to rush or simply TRYING to rush?  Because there isn’t any rushing the rush hour traffic!  I digress.

Freeways should be designed like a pinball machine.  Instead of traffic lights there should be giant pistons that draw back and shoot you into traffic at highway speeds or better.  This is key!@!!!  Waaaaaay too many people are doing 45-55 when the merge lane runs out and no one wants to let you on the freeway going slower than they are.  At that point everyone is then trying to decide how fast they want to go or have already decided and get in the lane of their choice.  There should be no choices at this point.

In pinball there are often little lanes at the top that the ball randomly drops into depending on how fast the ball was going or what thingy’s it has hit.  No randomness in this system.  You punch in what speed you want to go and the giant piston drops you into that lane.  Or magnets under the highway, or something.  That is why I will hire my niece who is becoming an engineer last I knew.  Each lane will be assigned “points” or a speed.  65, 75, 85 and the HOV lane is 100.  And no “toll” passes.  This clogs up the lane for those of us who actually qualify, not who can afford it.

No gas pedals work on the freeways.  All done by Magneto.  His prison sentence is to regulate traffic flow with his returned powers.  Anyone who tries to get into the HOV who doesn’t qualify is flipped off the road and collected by the police.  Each lane is magnetically or otherwise controlled for whatever speed is assigned.  Just like the little toy race tracks there is no changing lanes.  Ever.  No changing your mind about speed once launched.

To get off the freeway you hit the exit button on the dash at the appropriate time and an overhead magnet thingy or like apparatus will swoop in, lift your car off the freeway and deposit it at the bottom of the off ramp where your gas pedal gets to work again and you can’t get in my, er, our way on the freeway and make all kinds of stupid decisions or indecisions.  If you get the wrong exit you hit the button at the wrong time and you have to use surface streets to get where you needed to go.  Kind of like the game Diplomacy.  You write your orders down prior to everyone moving and submit them at the same time.  If you wrote it wrong, tough, the wrong order is obeyed or if it is badly written (not in correct form) you don’t get to move at all.  The Who had it right all along.

Pinball is fun and rewarding!

Cash or Credit?

What is it with the card readers at stores now?!  Do you remember the commercials that show the cash guy slowing the line down and the card guy speeding right through?  Hah!  Now you have to answer 10 questions or so.  what kind of transaction, wait for cashier, is this the correct amount, do you want it all on the same card, do you want cash back, is this the correct amount, wait for authorization.  Did I miss any?

And heaven forbid you go to the pharmacy!

“Women drivers” or Can I get this to go!?

I have seen this happen in movies, never in real life and never to me. 

I have gotten in the habit of drinking Diet Coke or Diet Dr. Pepper.  I used to buy them in 44 oz cups 1-2 times a day.  A budget advisor told us that we should buy things on sale when we could so now I look for the 69 and 79 cent sales on 2-liters.  And buy 20. 

Well, the wife and I went out house hunting Saturday and I stopped to get gas and some pop.  It’s just better from the fountain, usually, and Diet Dr. Pepper rarely goes on sale. 

I started the gas pumping and went to purchase my drink.  They distracted me by making me answer more questions on the card reader than I was prepared to do.  I rarely go in now since I get my pop at home and pay for gas at the pump.  I get to the car and all seems well.  We start to leave and hear a loud scrape and thumping, like in all the ghost stories only it was daylight and I am at the gas station.

I look in the rear-view mirror and I see half of the gas hose still hanging from my gas tank and the other half hanging from the pump.  I stop and return to inspect the damage and return my half to the pump area.  In front of 20 snickering people.

Fortunately it had some kind of quick release clasp that quick released for me.  I did not re-attach.  I calmly went into the store, told him I had broken his hose on pump 3 and stated something like “it looks like it will go right back on”, he said something like “I hope so” and I calmly got the heck out of there.  I almost always buy my gas there.  Might have to start going to 800 north.  Do you think they take pictures and pass them out to the other stations with the heading of “latest idiots”.

Meanwhile the wife is laughing and letting me know how glad she is I did that and not her.  She figures everyone would have thought dumb woman drivers should stay off the road and away from gas stations.

She figures their response to me would be more along the lines of “he must have a lot on his mind”.  I didn’t want to tell her that all the guys would be thinking “drives like a woman”.

What the…!?

A couple of minor incidents come to mind here.  I work as a physical therapist and so I have something called a hydrocollator here.  It is a metal tub full of 170 degree water to keep the hot packs hot.  Well, we had a “lunch and learn” here with about 40 employer reps/clients.  We turned the therapy area into a conference room and learned about swine flu. 

Afterward we were putting the PT clinic back together and I went to put something away in the hydrocollator.  I find a slimy green thing floating in the water.  How in the world did a piece of lettuce find its way in there.  There are no openings.  You have to lift the lid to get in.

Is this the same as house guests snooping  in the medicine cabinet?  Cause that’s just weird.  The person had to be holding their plate (I did mention LUNCH and learn), lift the lid, drop the lettuce leaf in there and then decide to leave it there.

I did say it was 170 degrees.  But, what the heck are they looking for anyway?  hmmm.

And…

Today, my first patient comes in and lets me know that there is used condom in the parking lot that she almost stepped on!  We are not in the best part of town but neither do we have a secluded lot.  It is quite visible from the road, which is a fairly busy road.

It is an industrial area so perhaps not so busy at night.  This same patient does not live in such a nice area either so she says that  she used to get cars with hookers and johns out front of the house by the curb frequently.  Is there a discount for not using the hotel? 

Apparently she fixed that with a baseball bat and some threats.  I don’t even know what to look for here.  People, pick up your own messes!!

Gay!?

You know, I consider myself a fairly open minded person. I have strong opinions on some subjects and others not so much.  For instance, my brother commented that I need more paragraphs.  I can get behind that.  Here comes one now.

That does look a lot better!  Anyway, my wife and I were walking and talking in Target the other day.  As we approached the area betweent the cart corral (I like the name, don’t know if that is the one they use) and the registers we saw a family walking in front of us.  Mom, couple of kids.  One of them looked to be about 10-12, hard to say from behind.  She had on a pair of rainboots.  It had been raining that day so that was not really peculiar except people here in Utah seem to wear flip flops every day, every weather.  They were almost knee length.  They were green and pink or red with some pattern.

I think I like this paragraph thing.  Where was I, oh.  I just mentioned to my wife that they were cute boots and kept on going to whatever register we ended up at.  She looks at me and says “you really are gay”.  Wow.  From the wife.  We have 5 daughters.  That’s my only excuse I guess.  hmm.  Maybe I’m gay?

stupid is as stupid does…

So, my cell phone seems to have an affinity for the water. Any water. See the previous blog. It’s shorter than the motorcycle accident one. My phones latest, greatest and alas, last, water adventure was the washing machine. I checked all the pockets. Seriously, you thought I didn’t? Put the laundry in and went downstairs. Started looking for my phone. Couldn’t find it, couldn’t hear it, nothing. It was as if the sea had swallowed it. Then I remembered the LOWER pocket on my shorts that I don’t wear so much since I work with a dress code. The shorts with the cell phone pocket down on the left side BELOW the other pocket I had already checked. Well, the washer hadn’t started agitating yet. Found the phone and had hope of resucitating it as previously I had done, with less disinfectant this time. Morning came and all was right with the world. I arrived home after work, went to make a call and the screen started to look like the blob started to eat it. Then the screen looked like the Matrix. aaargh! More drying with no success. Then I thought, “hey, I have an old Alltel phone”. I am with Verizon for better or worse and 1 1/2 years until we have the option to continue or rip up the prenup and be done. Verizon bought Alltel. So, I fire up the old Alltel LG and optimistically punch in the numbers. *228, option 3. Alas, would not work automatically. Called service. 3 times until I got a person. Apparently there are different levels of “merger”. The paper one, we all saw that one, and the one where all the components actually work together. Still not there yet on that one. My friendly advisor said he was waiting too….Nope, didn’t believe him either. He said to take it to a store and they could unlock it for me. He didn’t say he had done that. Then I thought, “wait, Dug jailbroke his online once”. So, I googled. And was aghast again. That was fun to say. Aghast again. Cool. Anyway, CMDA phones, of which Verizon, Alltel and Sprint are part of, can be unlocked, with firmware you can purchase. Then you have to clone your phone, which is illegal. I couldn’t figure out how to do that and unlock without spending lots of money and time I didn’t have. So, I am taking donations of any Verizon phone that is not being currently used and works. Barring that I may have to extend the prenup. I am still too new to the marriage to qualify for an upgrade. Another 16 months should do it.